Things have been so good, I have been experiencing pure happiness in everything I’ve been doing.  It has been a breath of fresh air.  I couldn’t even imagine what it felt like to be depressed.  It is like two separate world’s I live in.

Today I have been feeling very anxious, everything everyone has said or done today has irritated me.

I feel this dark cloud slowly creeping in to cover my heart and take over my thoughts.

The thought “I’m depressed” begins to replay in my mind over and over again.

I try to stop it and repeat “I am happy, I am happy” to try and change my thought pattern.

It doesn’t work.

“Please God take this away….let happiness be more powerful than the darkness,  let me sleep and wake up full of joy.”


2 thoughts on “WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING:Week 4”

  1. me too ….. I hate my inconsistency ,,, I can never make firm plans as I know I might wake up with no energy,depression creeping in …undoing all progress ,,,, positive thinking has no impact on riptide … I feel like the witch in the oz story that Dorothy throw water on…she writhes crying out … i’m melting …. well the darkness of depression is the evil witch throwing water on my Dorothy of energy and joy…..as I, my true self of happiness and quick mindedness, dissolves I am pleading with JESUS to stop this…heal me….help…help! ……. I crawl back in this hole and hunker down to wait it out …. helplessly watching the world pass me by knowing that it is all beyond my reach ……. I never know if this will last a couple of hours or weeks or years ……… this is zombieism

I really need your feedback...please comment