Self hatred

Everyday I block out what a mess I’ve made of things…i do well.  But the days I can’t I am swallowed up with regret and self hatred.  Today is one of those days again.  Just one bad thought about myself after another…it won’t end.. my heart actually hurts in my chest..i put on the happy mom face for my children, but that is as far as I can go.  I so wish I can turn back time and had better control of my manic episodes and not take the path I did, I so thought it was right at the time, my mind had me believe it was the right thing to do.  Where to go from here, I do not know

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