Re-start Day 1

My blog originally made it to day 6, but something happened to my site and everything was deleted.  I tried re-writing each day, but I could not get them to sound as authentic and meaningful as the originals, so I’m going to start fresh.  First off I’m thinking “my story” is way too dark, I read it and it sounds like I’ve never been happy.  I really did have so many good times growing up.  And since my first child I have been truly happy.  But with my last pregnancy, depression set in and I have been struggling with it ever since and she will be 3 in November.  I have a really good life, wonderful children, an amazing supportive husband.  It’s just that My depression side of my bipolar is so strong, it makes the days I have it very sad.  And as my story explains I am not going to accept my dark days anymore…I am going to do everything I can to fight this.  In my group therapy classes I have learned some very helpful coping skills that I have to follow every day as soon as I wake up (I will go into detail my next post).  Today I got up at 4:30 am as planned, I read my daily quotes and inspirations, then the little one woke up early so I had to put a stop to the rest.  I  did make a delicious hot breakfast and sent the big kids off to school.  Today my goal is to pick up, do some laundry, and work on some post ideas.  When the big Kids get home it is a “no electronics” day so we will be doing things together in other ways.  Today is not a dark day.  My new psychiatrist increased my antidepressant last Thursday after I was in a 3 day funk.  So I am keeping my fingers crossed.  The downside to the increase in medication  is that my body temperature has increased, and I am very uncomfortable outside, or places the air isn’t cool enough.  Which might not seem like that big of deal, but when you get so used to dark days and not taking care of yourself, when the good days come you look forward to putting on some makeup and doing your hair.   But due to the increased body temperature,  I sweat my makeup off and sweat  my hair to a mess, so there is no point.  I am still trying to stay positive about it, and hoping it resolves itself.  I would love to hear your comments or stories of your struggles with mental illness, or your routines to keep you on track and not getting down.

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