These days are so filled with technology, that it is easy to miss the good things in life.
Today my husband and I decided to load up the kids for a road trip…..that means phones, tablets, etc. Are for emergencies only…groans and whines fill the air. They don’t know how they could possibly survive more than 2 hours in the car without anything to do. We let it roll over our shoulders and remind them that this is what real fun is all about.
As we head out of town we are bombarded with questions of : “where are we going, where are we staying, is this going to be any fun?” I answer them with love and excitement. “We are heading to Mount Vernon, IL. Where we will have a pic-nic in the park with Grandma and Grandpa, then we will swing, and go down slides, play catch, play cards, while dad BBQ’S.” “Then we are getting a hotel where we will swim all night and all morning.” The kids yell and scream with excitement.
We all have so much to say, we enjoy each other’s company. Which is a great change from what seems like constant bickering and arguing lately.
Soon the oldest cram in the back together and settle in for their own fun.
I look out my window at the beautiful scenery. I thank God that I am alive, that we are all healthy, and that we all can still have fun together despite my long 3 year battle with depression. As I look out I can’t believe how much time has flown by, how much I’ve missed out on. My thoughts begin fill with guilt, of all the things I could have done, or all the joy I could have brought them these past 3 years. Tears start to well in my eyes. My husband looks at me and knows where my head is taking me. He squeezes my hand, puts on a good song, and we start to sing. My husband reels me back into the now and I’m filled back up with joy.
Yay!!! We are at the park. Everyone races to the swings. I sneak across the street to a huge garage sale (I’m a sucker for them.) I look around and it’s the type you have to spend hours digging through boxes to find anything good. “Not today” I say and rush to the swing set. I push and push and push. I take tons of pictures while we all laugh and play. I am consumed with happiness. It feels so good. We continue with everything until the sun starts to fade away. “OFF TO THE POOL”
We arrived at Holiday Inn to find out the pool is under construction. I used to allow these tiny hiccups to take over my whole mood. I would let it suck all the happiness out of me. But I’m doing well….so it rolls off my shoulders as we head to Drury Inn. We are elated they still had a few rooms left. Off to the pool we went. It had half of the pool inside, then you could swim out to the other half outside. The kids were In heaven. I swam with them until they closed for the night. We were all passed out in about a half hour. The next day was filled with more swimming until it was time to head home. This day my husband and I woke up with a terrible head cold. We shook it off, hoping that’s all it was.
Boy was i wrong, day after day it just got worse and worse. I got knocked on my butt with a full fledged respiratory, fever funk.
So I rested and took medicine while my almost 3 year old took everything I own, out of every container things were put in, and played with it all. I feverously watched as my house and floor became trashed.
Today my fever is gone, so on went the apron and music and I set off to work to put every thing back where it belonged.
I am getting better and stronger everyday to beat this depression. I feel normal and happy again. I want to stay like this forever.